As published in the

Pasadena Star-News - August 10, 2005

San Gabriel Valley Tribune - August 10, 2005

Whittier Daily News - August 10, 2005

Oy vey! The schlemiels are listening to talk radio

by

Gerald Plessner

My mother of blessed memory would just love some of my readers who write to the newspaper about me. Anyone who used her son's name up to seven times in recent letters to the editor would be alright by my mother.

But if she were still alive and read the letters she would have called to ask, "What is it with these guys? Do they put funny stuff in the water out there in California?"

It's not the water, Mom. It's the right-wing stuff they listen to on talk radio. There are a whole bunch of loud mouth nitwits on radio who just beat up on liberals --- mostly because they make millions a year doing it.

"Millions a year? Oy Vey!"

Yes, and they turn every issue into a battle between liberals and conservatives. They do it all the time. The problem this time is that the Supreme Court decision they are raving about --- giving local governments the right to take land from citizens and transfer it to corporations --- isn't a liberal vs. conservative issue.

It's about fairness and original intent. It's about fairness because liberals look out for the little guy while modern so-called conservatives look out for big business.

It's also about original intent because it's a pretty sure thing that the men who wrote the Constitution had experience with a government that took private property and gave it to the rich and well-connected. I think they would be pretty upset by this Supreme Court decision.

But the truth doesn't count for much with these guys. They can't admit they are wrong or even that they made an innocent mistake, because they will be eaten alive by their fans and their competitors. So they keep yelling about liberals, whom they despise, and they are tearing the country apart because it is good business for them.

"The chazzers on the radio or the schlemiels who write the letters?"

Both, mom.

Now they are going nuts over the chance to pack the Supreme Court with ultra-conservative justices. They have this thing about turning America back to the beginning of the last century...

"You mean like Prohibition, Jim Crow and the Depression?"

Well not exactly. But they do have this obsession about Social Security being part of the Communist conspiracy. And they want to do things like teach religion in public schools...

"You mean their religion, don't you? Yeah, I remember those good old days."

And they want to turn the clock back on women's rights and the right of all Americans to control their own lives.

"You're talking about banning abortion, aren't you?"

That is the biggest issue but there are others --- like giving government support to religious programs and limiting the rights of people who happen to be homosexual.

"Did gays ever hurt them? We never called them that, but homosexuals were some of the nicest people I knew. Haven't they been pushed around enough?"

What can I say? There are other issues like teaching something called "Intelligent Design" in public schools.

"Let me guess. That is what your wife does when she remodels the kitchen. Right?"

No, Mom. That's about questioning evolution because it doesn't agree with the book or Genesis in the Bible.

"But I thought the 'Monkey Trial' settled that."

I wish. But all these issues are not as important as the idea that Supreme Court justices must meet a philosophical criteria of one kind or another. Conservatives don't seem to understand that the Constitution provides for an independent judiciary.

They are now stuck on the idea that judges cannot use the facts of change since the Constitution was written, or their personal experience, or their observations of how other people or even nations have dealt with a similar problem in a decision that will affect millions of people's lives.

"Honey, that one is a little beyond me. But I know you will answer your readers's questions. Some people may not like your answers but that's what democracy is all about, isn't it? Anyway, they should know that you were always a good boy. And Dad and I still love you. But couldn't you just write to us once in a while?"

I'll work on it mom. I think of you often and, by the way, what is your e-mail address?

Glossary: Oy Vey! = Oh, woe! Or Woe-is-me! Chazzer = pig or swine; Schlemiel = fool.

About the author: Gerald Plessner is a Southern California businessman who writes regularly on issues of politics and culture. He would be pleased to hear from you and may be contacted at gerald@geraldplessner.com.